Second Ave. Sagas

Category: MTA Absurdity

  • Waitin’ around for an ‘F’-in train

    When last Captain Obvious paid us a visit two weeks ago, the good Captain noted that bus schedules around the city were wrong. Big surprise there.

    Well, the Captain has returned this week. The story: Those subway schedules available on the MTA’s website aren’t too accurate either. Stop the presses.

    In all seriousness, this news is hardly a shocker; the MTA’s schedules are notorious punchlines. But The Brooklyn Paper actually managed to turn this into an interesting story:

    During the morning and evening rush, an F train is supposed to arrive every four to six minutes, according to MTA timetables. But a Brooklyn Paper reporter found that on most days, the gap is a lot longer.

    A few minutes extra may not seem like a big deal, but a two-minute addition to the scheduled four-minute gap means that, on average, there are five fewer trains per hour — about 40 cars — than the schedule says there should be.

    Since each car can hold 175 people, those extra five trains during the 8-9 am rush can carry up to 7,000 people.

    Now, I live near that F train stop, but I never take it to work. I find the B/Q stop on the other side of the North Slope area to be much more reliable. I can take one of two trains into Manhattan during rush hour; the wait is never too long, and the trains, while crowded, aren’t jammed pack as the F train generally is.

    But this overcrowding of the F train and the frequent delays are a cause for concern. Population, as the article notes, along the F train corridor has exploded since the MTA set the schedules a few years ago, and this boom shows no signs of slowing. These areas along the F train are among the strongest waves of gentrification into the heart of Brooklyn. This leaves the F, already ranked 11th out of 22 by the Straphangers Campaign, floundering a bit.

    The Brooklyn Paper issues some sensible suggestions for expanding service along the F line. The MTA could extend V train service past 2nd Ave. in Manhattan; they could permanently extend the temporary G train extension to Church Ave.; or they could simply make sure the trains run on time.

    The MTA, of course, says nothing is wrong with the current F train service, but maybe they should try waiting at 7th Ave. in Park Slope during the morning commute for a train.

  • Queens residents up in arms over 7 line debacle

    I don’t know what any of that means either. Or as my roomate said, “What the f***?” (Image courtesy of flickr user Plaid Ninja. Click on it for a bigger view.)

    So the 7 train. Apparently, it’s a mess, and Queens residents aren’t too happy. I don’t blame them; that service advisory note up there is utterly incomprehensible.

    Currently, the 7 line is undergoing a massive reconstruction project. According to the WNBC report, the MTA is reconfiguring the tracks and upgrading switches from Times Square out to the heart of Queens. Because the 7 is the only line that runs from Manhattan to Flushing, it clearly inconveniences everyone who lives along this purple train.

    Furthermore, I’m a firm believer in conspiracy theories. The MTA is doing the project now, in the cold of winter when no one wants to walk anywhere, because baseball season is around the corner. Imagine if tens of thousands of Mets fans could not get to Shea for opening weekend because of 7 line service shutdowns. Queens residents suffer now so baseball fans don’t have to suffer in April.

    The litany of complains are quite familiar. Travel times are quadrupled; local businesses are feeling the pain; and everyone is pissed off. In fact, even City Council member Eric Giola participated in a rally protesting the service cuts. He called the shuttle bus service “insufficient and inconvenient.” You tell ’em, Eric.

    Uncharacteristically, the MTA decided to listen to their riders’ complaints. How? By, um, telling people more frequently how to find some alternate route and, ah, making sure the employees are giving out the right information (which they were not last weekend). The Daily News reports on the new measures the MTA will take this weekend:

    • Boosting the number of service-disruption announcements at stations and on subway trains.
    • Putting more and better-informed Transit Authority personnel in stations to help lost and confused riders.
    • Alerting riders that they can board No. 7 trains, and get off Manhattan-bound trains at the 69th St. and 61st St. stations. The TA has been telling riders that trains weren’t running between Times Square and 74th St./Broadway.
    • Better publicize increased E and F train service on the affected weekends.
    • Increasing the number of supervisors to improve coordination of TA efforts.
    • Additional training and better info packets for bus drivers, station agents and other workers on the disruptions and travel options.

    Pardon me if I’m a little skeptical, but doesn’t this seem like basic levels of customer service? Shouldn’t the MTA have made sure that its employees knew what was going on before the service cuts instead of after a debacle of a weekend? While Giola expressed his pleasure with the new customer service measures, I expect this weekend to be more of the same for those residents in Queens unlucky enough to live on the 7 line.

    But don’t worry; baseball season is right around the corner.

  • Catholics call out condoms

    All New York City wanted to do was provide a service for people that promotes healthy lifestyles. In the face of countless studies that say abstinence-only policies simply serve to promote unsafe sex, the City decided to be proactive in the fight against STDs by distributing free NYC-branded condoms throughout the Big Apple.

    Sadly, some folks don’t look too kindly on this immoral behavior. First, the MTA was upset because the City was using their subway bullets. The MTA didn’t want to be associated with a condom. (They prefer to go about their business without one.) So the City compromised, and that’s why the N is 8th Ave. IND blue and the C is Broadway BMT yellow. It’s almost-but-not-quite the same.

    Then, along comes the actual hand-out, and one group was furious. They declared war on the condoms! If you guessed the Catholic Church, well, then step on down. You’re the next contestant on Ridiculous Outrage.

    Edward Cardinal Egan, New York’s leading Catholic clergyman, and Brooklyn’s Bishop Nicholas DiMarzio issued a joint statement yesterday condemning the condoms. The Post reports:

    “The decision of the City of New York to distribute [26] million free condoms to the public – and minors as well, according to news reports – is tragic and misguided,” Egan and DiMarzio said.

    “Our political leaders fail to protect the moral tone of our community when they encourage inappropriate sexual activity by blanketing our neighborhoods with condoms,” the statement continued.

    Egan and DiMarzio warned that the condom plan will “degrade societal standards.”

    “The taxpayers’ money that is being spent to distribute condoms and promote the attitude that ‘anything goes’ would be far better spent in fostering what is true and what is decent,” they said.

    I guess “what is true and what is decent” doesn’t covering “saving lives” and “protecting against disease.” Meanwhile, for the first time since Sex Ed classes in high school, people are actually talking about condoms on a near-daily basis, and that is a very good thing.

  • The MTA hates pigeons too

    Neither pigeons nor this vintage train will be appearing at 103rd St. in Queens again. (Courtesy NYC Subway)

    My mom and sister – two frequent visitors to this site – hate pigeons with a vengeance. These ugly, disgusting flying rats once prompted my mom to declare that she would shoot the pigeons if she could. And my mom is not a violent person.

    Well, Mom and Victoria, the MTA is right there with you, but instead of shooting this bird, they’re going to shock them instead. Faced with a pigeon problem at some of their elevated stations in Queens, the MTA is going to shock these birds into submission. The New York Sun reports:

    The Metropolitan Transportation Authority is implementing Operation Bird-B-Gone at three of the most avian-friendly stations on the no. 7 line. To prevent birds from reproducing underground and leaving behind unsanitary and unsightly droppings, the stations are being wired to zap birds when they goto roost on ledges in the stations.

    Today, the MTA and state representatives will announce the completion of station refurbishments, including the electrical wiring, at the 103rd street station. The MTA will next tackle the pigeon woes at the 90th Street station.

    The article goes on to note that pigeons are attracted to dirty stations where they can easily scavenge scraps of food. In typical MTA fashion, then, the obvious solution – cleaning up the stations – is the one not implemented. Assemblymen Jose Peralta and Jeffrion Aubry have tried for years to get the MTA to clean up the stations at 90th, 103rd and 111th Sts. in Queens, some of the dirtiest in the system according to the MTA.

    But when these efforts proved futile, Peralta and Aubry instead secured the state funds to install the electric wiring. In the face of typical MTA bureaucracy, these two simply took matters into their own hands.

    And so three stations in Queens will be safe for my family and pigeon-haters everywhere.

  • ¿Necesitar un condón?

    nyccondomspanish.jpg

    Ok. Ok. I’ll stop the condom obsession soon and give you some new material. In the meantime, check out NYCcondom.org for the all the info on these snazzy rubbers you could possibly want. And then some.

  • Condoms arrive in style

    Via Gothamist comes the news I have been awaiting since January: The New York City subway condoms are here. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to snag one today because they’re being distributed now at the Kenneth Cole store at Rockefeller Center, not near where I work.

    In January, I looked at how different subway lines could get their own condom, but today, we see that, alas, it’s just a generic condom for the entire subway system.

    Meanwhile, as Jen at Gothamist noted, the City and Lifestyles didn’t do a fantastic job integrated the subway bullets into the packaging. Sure, the bullets are then and are reminiscent of the subway. But why the color mash-up? Except for the O and Y which aren’t subway lines, the rest of the lettering should fit its proper bullet.

    But hey, at least it’s a collector’s item and it might come in handy later tonight on Valentine’s Day.

    Photo from Gothamist.

  • ‘Can you hear me now?’ Straphangers wonder about MTA pay phones

    The odds are pretty good this phone doesn’t work. (Courtesy of Flickr user Paololluch)

    MTA pay phones are often a last-ditch solution for stranded Straphangers needing to make an underground call.

    Just this Monday, in fact, I saw one subway rider walk approach the pay phone with exceptional caution. This woman in her mid-twenties looked to be running late. She peered into the tunnel at W. 4th St., hoping to spot a glimmer of an approaching F train. With no train nearing the station, she cautiously approached the payphone.

    The payphone was your typical subway pay phone. It looked like a few drunk NYU students had probably smacked the receiver around a little. There was nothing growing off of it. But this woman didn’t trust the phone. She pulled a wool glove out of her pocket and then lifted the receiver, holding it an inch or so away from her ear. This woman would have no part of this phone touching her.

    Into the slot at the top went the quarter…and into the change return slot fell that very same quarter. Surprising no one on the platform, the pay phone did not work. In fact, according to a newly-released poll by the Straphangers Campaign, nearly a quarter of the NYC subway pay phones are inoperable.

    Here’s what the public interest group found:

    In one survey of 886 telephones at 100 randomly selected subway stations, 29% were found to be “non-functioning,” with problems ranging from no dial tone to coin slot blocked (survey margin of error is +/- 4%). This finding is consistent with 2006 findings when an identical campaign survey also rated 29% of phones non-functioning.

    In a second survey, the campaign tested 537 pay telephones in the 25 most-used New York City Transit subway stations and found 22% to be non-functioning.

    Noting that the current contract between Verizon and the MTA does not guarantee any minimum number of working pay phones, members of the Straphangers were a bit dismayed. “Given the importance of being able to communicate with the outside world, especially during times of delay and emergency, we’re disappointed the MTA and Verizon removed the guarantee for a minimum level of service operability,” Neysa Pranger, one of the group’s coordinators, said in a press release.

    Two of the Straphangers’ findings, in my mind, raise some interesting questions. The group found that all of the pay phones in the stop on East 86th St. were functioning as were all of the phones at the stop on the West Side IRT at 72nd St. But only 29 percent of the phones at the Jamaica Center stop on the E, J and Z lines were working. Do the socioeconomic conditions of the neighborhoods in which these stops are located have anything to do with the pay phones’ operability?

    Meanwhile, as plans to wire the subways for cell service have seemingly faded away, it would probably be useful to have working pay phones in the tunnels. You never know when your train line might break down.

  • New 59th St. station entrace to open after two years

    A new entrance at one of the busiest stations in the system is set to open this weekend. Just watch the ice. (Wikipedia.org)

    Stories like this one are what make the MTA so damn entertaining. Two years ago, the MTA, with the blessing of Vornado Realty Trust, constructed a new entrance for the uber-busy stop at 59th Street-Lexington Avenue.

    Serving the 4, 5, 6, N, R and W trains as well as a crowd of workers in midtown and shoppers at Bloomingdales, this stop on the East Side is one of the busiest in the system. So another entrance seemed reasonable.

    But for two years, this entrance has sat shuttered with the turnstiles rarin’ to go. Why? Because Vornado Realty, the owners for the entrance’s building, refused to construct a canopy to protect customers from ice falling off the eaves of the 54-story building.

    Well, the dispute has been resolved, and this two-year-old “new” entrance will open this weekend. Phew.

  • The $140-million question: ‘Can you hear me now?’

    That’s The Times’ fancy way of showing us why radio reception isn’t too good underground.

    The news out of the subways last week featured yet another setback for adequate underground communications. According to news reports, a $140-million communication system for the New York City police that is supposed to work underground does not. This comes as no surprise to anyone who has ever tried to use a cell phone in the subway.

    The Times reported on the problem last week:

    Last October, after spending $140 million, the authority completed the installation of the system citywide.

    But it has not been turned on.

    That is because the Police Department refuses to use it, saying the new system is hobbled by widespread interference that garbles communication and creates areas where radios cannot receive properly. “What you get is distorted audio,” said Joseph Yurman, a communications engineer for New York City Transit. “You can hear it, but it sounds as if you’re talking through a glass of water.”

    Fixing the problem may require replacing new equipment with more advanced components at a cost of up to $20 million more. If all goes well and disputes over which agency will pay for the changes can be resolved, the police say the full system could be turned on next year, some four years behind schedule.

    According to engineers offering up an explanation for this interference, the problem basically arises from all of the metal found in our city streets. From ventilation grates to pipes and entrances, metal shields much of the subway, and the radio waves pick up interference as they pass underground. Furthermore, nearly 75 miles worth of cables installed for this project have eroded beyond use.

    So once again another technological upgrade by the MTA faces cost overruns and and a delayed timeline. And the NYPD and Fire Department can’t agree on the safety of subways. It’s politics as usual for our underground transportation network.

  • Condoms a la NYC Subways

    With the Disney-fication of Times Square, the closing of the city’s numerous sex shops and the lower presence of prostitution, it was only a matter of time before safe sex became the agenda du jour of City Hall. While the rest of the country struggles with the idiocy of abstinence-only education, Mayor Bloomberg will soon unveil New York City condoms wrapped in the colors of the New York City subway lines, says The Post.

    The condoms, produced by LifeStyles, will be wrapped in colored foil corresponding to one of the MTA’s distinct subway lines. “The condom packets will be modeled after the New York City subway system. Every foil will have a color,” said Carol Carozza, spokeswoman for Ansell, LifeStyle’s parent company, told The Post.

    Now, while promoting safe sex is a noble venture, especially in the city that leads the nation in AIDS cases, I have to wonder just how closely tied in to the subway lines this promotion will be. And so I bring to you condom styles based on the subway lines.

    The G Condom Condoms wrapped in the familiar lime green of the ever-unreliable G train are for the man in your life who takes a while. Generally, you have to wait a long time for the train to come, and when it does, it’s usually a short one.
    The 6 Condom As the 6 was once again rated the best subway line in the city, by the Straphangers Campaign, the 6 condoms, wrapped in vibrant green, are for great sex. Ribbed for her pleasure, perhaps?
    The 7 Condom Ah, the 7 train. In the immortal words of John Rocker, it’s home to “some kid with purple hair next to some queer with AIDS right next to some dude who just got out of jail for the fourth time right next to some 20-year-old mom with four kids.” But it’s also the dirtiest train in the city with just 55 percent of the cars passing the Straphangers’ cleanliness test. But 89 percent of the time, the 7 is on time. So I guess this one’s quick and dirty.
    The Shuttle This one just goes back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth.
    The M Condom A lovely shade of brown, the M train condoms will mirror the Nassau Street Local. It doesn’t come to frequently; it’s pretty empty; and it breaks down a lot. Maybe it needs some Viagra?
    The 1 Condom And last but not least, we get the 7th Ave. Local. It keeps itself clean with frequent, on-time service, but it’s tough to find a seat. It also stops everywhere. So this is the condom for the man with less-than-discriminating taste and an unsatiated appetite for sex.

    Yes, the K train was a real subway line in New York. It ran on various routes in the city, most recently as the 8th Ave. Local. The last K train rode off into the sunset on December 10, 1988. Read more at Wikipedia.