Home MTA Absurdity Mr. Really Drunk Metro-North Commuter

Mr. Really Drunk Metro-North Commuter

by Benjamin Kabak

Inspired by the news that the MTA isn’t banning alcohol and these commercials

Second Ave. Sagas presents Real Men of Genius
(Real Men of Genius)
Today we salute you Mr. Really Drunk Metro-North Commuter

(Mr. Really Drunk Metro-North Commuter)

Facing a long commute the end the day, you board the train clutching three cans of Bud Light, announcing to everyone that you can’t just wait until you’re at home.

(It’s really just a few more stops)

Pelham, New Rochelle, Larchmont, Mamaroneck
Ten more stops to go, and you’re already out of beer.

(We’re only at Port Chester)

Now you can keep on drinking even though you, like 286 other people last year, already got a ticket for creating a disturbance on the train.

(It’s not even a bar)

So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Mr. Drunk Commuter.
Watching the medics at Danbury treat your alcohol poisoning just adds to the excitement of a trip home.

(Mr. Really Drunk Metro-North Commuter)

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7 comments

Marsha May 31, 2007 - 1:21 pm

LOL!!!

Reply
Marsha May 31, 2007 - 1:24 pm

Almost as good as First Pitch Thrower Outer.

Reply
Lillie May 31, 2007 - 4:00 pm

Mt. Kisco isn’t on the same line as Pelham, New Rochelle, Larchmont, Mamaroneck. SAS should be a stickler for accuracy.

When are you going to write about the Chevy on the train tracks?

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Victoria May 31, 2007 - 9:29 pm

Hahahahahah this line wins the funniest award: “(We’re only at Port Chester)”

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peter June 1, 2007 - 8:18 am

Wow. I had no idea SAS was affiliated with the WCTU.

Should we expect to see you on Avenue A or marching along Smith Street beating a big drum, exhorting people to repent and renounce Satan’s temptations?

MNR carried about 77 Million people last year. A staggering total of TWO HUNDRED EIGHT SIX were cited for drunkenness. Sounds like a crisis to me.

Cigarettes are bad, and smoking is illegal in the Subway. Why isn’t SAS righteously indignant about every subway newsstand purveying tobacco?

If you don’t like drinking, don’t. Spare us the sanctimony.

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Benjamin Kabak June 1, 2007 - 10:29 am

Wow. I had no idea SAS was affiliated with the WCTU.

It’s called a joke…

Reply
Carla June 4, 2007 - 10:24 am

w00t! for the New Haven line shout-out.

Reply

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