Finding Walder’s replacement: A job description

I missed this gem when Jay Walder originally announced his resignation a few weeks ago, but as Gov. Andrew Cuomo has yet to name a successor, it’s still timely. From Little Littlefield comes a job description:

Wanted, politically savvy transit manager willing to preside over the gradual re-collapse of New York City’s transit system due to deferred maintenance while denying it is occuring, be publicly blamed for the consequences by those actually responsible (all of whom drive everywhere to parking spaces reserved for them by placard), and hated by the suckers who believe them. In exchange for decent pay, little work, and a fat pension.

The successful applicant is expected to live outside New York City in an undisclosed location, and not appear in public except during the first half hour of public hearings, during which elected officials castigate them for the very situation they created while the MTA head sits in silence. Among the key selection criteria are the willingness to not object to an assertion that a 20/50 pension enhancement wil cost nothing, the willingness to go on borrowing money the MTA cannot possibly repay, and the ability to make sure those affluent municipal bond holders and Florida residents get paid, no matter what. Any interest in actual transportation is optional, as most public services are optional as well. However, the ability to come up with cutsey distractions like shifting the transit map around to generate favorable New York Times press is always helpful. Apply to Sheldon Silver and Dean Skelos Andrew Cuomo.

Larry might be slightly more pessimistic about the MTA’s physical future than I am. I believe we’re witnessing only the political and economic collapse of the transit system and not the physical collapse as well. Yet, this critique is right on the money, and it highlights how the next MTA head will be in a very tough position with little support and a future that does not look too bright.